A new community with soaring airplanes!

The expression “Soaring Ceilings!” is commonplace in real estate ads for new homes. “Soaring Airplanes!” isn’t.

Nonetheless, Greenbriar, a 600-acre, mostly residential community next door to Sacramento International Airport, may start construction as early as next year. According to a recent story by Tony Bizjak in the Sacramento Bee, the builder — Integral Communities of Newport Beach — “plans to build more than 2,400 for-sale houses and nearly 500 rental units, including 200 for lower-income seniors.”

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Because the project will be built on land used by migrating birds, and will contain manmade lakes — maybe they’ll call those “artisan lakes” in the ads — it’s likely our feathered friends will patronize those water features. That can prove deadly for the birds and hazardous for the airplanes if the former fly or get sucked into the engines of the latter. To be sure, the owners are planning to create steep embankments on the lakes so that the birds have trouble walking in and out of the water — a tactic that somewhat ignores the fact that most birds fly into and out of water. You rarely see them towel off on the shore.

According to the story, “Greenbriar managers…will be authorized to chase birds off the site using fireworks, scarecrows, water spray and dogs, so that those birds do not set up house around the lakes.”

So let’s see what we have here:

– A community whose residents will hear airplanes taking off and landing at all times of the day or night, within a few hundred yards of their homes.

– Impromptu, and, one surmises, startling firecrackers popping off, possibly during the occasional lulls of silence at the airport.

– While scarecrows make no noise, the sound of barking dogs pursuing the birds while those hapless managers spray water at the birds may make the entire environment sound like a scene from a Frankenstein movie, when the villagers rise up and advance on the baron’s castle, there to kill the monster he’s created. Accordingly, I’d suggest the owners provide the managers with torches.

Since I’ve helped market communities as varied as Serrano, in El Dorado Hills, and The Creamery at Alkali Flat, I have a couple of ideas for the Greenbriar gang:

1. Market the community to hearing-challenged people.

2. Hire puffins to hide in the bullrushes, then spring out and silently trip birds trying to make their way up those embankments.

3. At a public meeting, invite members of the Sacramento City Council who were in favor of the development to move there, rent-free.

The resulting silence may be deafening.

Article and image provide by: Sacramento Business Journal



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